Have We Lost the Human Touch?

When did text messaging become the common way to start/end a relationship? In an era where we are more connected to everyone & everything- why does it seem we’re more detached? Have we lost the human touch?

Now, I’m not just picking on texting. I realize it’s the off-shoot of the 1990’s where we did the same with emails; which, followed the 1980’s where phones & answering machines/voice mails were the preferred method. But, seriously… how many of you know have friends that respond to text messages rather than answer their phones?

Webster’s Dictionary includes this definition of communication: “personal rapport”. The Oxford English Dictionary defines rapport as “a close and harmonious relationship in which there is common understanding”.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around.” One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Leo Buscaglia, an alumnus & professor @ USC School of Education. Leo was an author & lecturer of the human condition & of love. He taught a class at USC called “Love 1A”. His first book was called “Love” & has sold more than 1 million copies since 1972.

Love Quiz

Asking yourself questions and answering them honestly is a good path to self-knowledge. In keeping with this idea, I’d like to propose a few end-of-the-day questions for each of us . . .

· Is anyone a little happier because I came along today?

· Did I leave any concrete evidence of my kindness, any sign of my love?

· Did I try to think of someone I know in a more positive light?

· Did I help someone to feel joy, to laugh, or at least, to smile?

· Have I attempted to remove a little of the rust that is corroding my relationships?

· Have I forgiven others for being less than perfect?

· Have I forgiven myself?

· Have I learned something new about life, living or love?

. Have I gone through the day without fretting over what I don’t have & celebrating the things I do have?

If you are not satisfied with your answers, take heart. Tomorrow you get to start all over again! If you will it, this is one quiz you can never fail!

“Madness takes its toll… But listen closely…”

Are you fully living life?

If your life consists of a series of routines & predictable behaviors, the answer is NO! Routines + predictability = boredom. Who wants to be boring? Life is an adventure full of risks & pitfalls to be sure; however, there is wonder & magic too.

But, if we do the same things every day:

1) Hit the snooze button 3x,

2) get up,

3) drink a Red Bull/cup of coffee,

4) turn on the morning news (get depressed watching that shit),

5) shower,

6) kiss the wife/husband,

7) go to work

starts to sound boring by this point, doesn’t it? and the day is just beginning…well, you get the idea….

We don’t have time to be predictable & boring, after all, death will come- one day. We just don’t realize that death is really one of our best friends because it reminds us that life is precious, all of life- and that we must live it until the last moment. Those who have lived their lives fully will go gently into that dark night; while, those who haven’t go kicking & screaming because they realize all the things they didn’t do didn’t say that they wanted to & now they can’t.

A wise man, name of Grandpa Funk once said “You have to stay a little crazy. Keep a touch of madness in you- just enough so you don’t become STUPID. Just a little touch of madness will keep you alive.”

You want your life to be different? Stop wishing for it to happen. Stop waiting for a Fairy Godmother to appear & fix everything for you. Stop blaming everyone & everything else! Blame yourself! It’s your life- choose to fix it! It’s your life- choose to live it. Be a little crazy- Try this: Saying “Hello” to everyone you meet. See what happens… some will say “Hello” back… some will ignore you (that’s their loss)… some might actually ask, “Do I know you?” & can you can say,”No, but wouldn’t it be nice to?” Watch their reaction to that!

Life is astounding and time is fleeting… take risks. Yeah, that means making a choice- but life is all about making choices. “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. I will choose a path that’s clear- I will choose free will.”

Remember the movie, “Risky Business”? Best line ever: “Sometimes you have to say ‘What the fuck?’ ‘What the fuck’ gives you freedom and freedom brings opportunity.” Will people think you’re crazy if you go around saying that- absolutely! Probably label you a “radical”! Hell, George Carlin was a radical- and people loved him (and a lot of people hated him & a lot more didn’t get him)! Did he care? No! It was his life & he lived it fully…

Go back a minute ‘cuz I know you asked yourself “Who the hell is Grandpa Funk?” Well, I know & if I don’t tell you then I’ve infected you with a little madness- ‘cuz it’ll drive you ‘nutz’ until you get the answer! The answer’s out there…

Is there a point to this? ABSOLUTELY!! You are the only ‘you’ there is ever going to be. You are the best ‘you’- after all, I can’t be you & you can’t be me. Because you are the sum of all your unique qualities (the good & the bad) you have the ability to constantly make & re-make your world. All you have learned to this point can be unlearned so you can change your life & learn new things that fit what you want it to be. You have the paint & brushes- so paint your life the colors you want and then IN you go! It’s yours to grow. But you have to choose to make changes & this requires you to have a touch of madness so you can be unpredictable, so you can create opportunities for wonder & magic, so you can learn to appreciate every minute you have & be thankful for all you know & feel. Yes, “madness takes its toll, but listen closely…” for its messages are more clear than you think… its lessons more easily learned… your life more malleable… BUT it is YOU who must make the choices!! I hope you choose to live fully in the now & be a little crazy 🙂

“Mah-pen-lai”

Translation: A Thai phrase that means, ‘it’s all right, it doesn’t matter.’ No wonder they’re called the land of smiles, if so many people can say, “mah-pen-lai!” Now, compare that to the culture here in America- where everything matters. Reality check: it doesn’t matter- the world will go on without you. 90% of what we worry about never happens! Yet, here we are- worry, worry, worry; and, the best part- we worry about worrying!!

In the Kabala it says,

‘Man must see that nothing really is, but that everything is always becoming and changing. Nothing stands still. Everything is being born, growing, and dying. The very instant a thing reaches its height, it begins to decline. The law of rhythm is in constant operation. There is no reality. There is no enduring quality, fixity or substantiality in anything. Nothing is permanent but change. Man must see all things evolving from other things and resolving him to other things, a constant action or reaction, inflow or outflow, building up or tearing down, creation or destruction, birth and growth and death. Nothing is real, and nothing endures but change.’

Same concept 2 very different cultures.

So to you, my friends, I say mah-pen-lai. Enjoy your life, now, today 🙂

For Michelle

For Michelle…

Before I talk about Michelle, I guess I need a “preamble”:

Life’s a journey, and you’ve probably heard that it’s the journey not the destination that’s important. You can go 100mph down the road you’re on & reach your destination… but what did you miss along the way? What happens if you got lost?

Well, that’s what happened to me. Here I was enjoying the journey I started in my 20’s, then something happened- I got lost. don’t ask me how or where (I was driving too fast to know), but at the end of that road I ended up at a place I didn’t know, “Staring into the Eyes of a Stranger”- a person I no longer knew.

So, now I’m trying to find my way back to “me”. Along the way, I’m re-learning stuff about me, learning new things about me, & remembering to make stops along the way. One of the things I’m returning to, is my love for reading & I’m re-reading a wonderful man (Who’s no longer with us) Leo Buscaglia who inspired & influenced me when I first started my journey. In doing so, I re-discovered a poem in one of his books, by Michelle:

“My happiness is me, not you.
Not only because you may be temporary,
But also because you want me to be what I am not.
I cannot be happy when I change
Merely to satisfy your selfishness.
Nor can I feel content when you criticise me for not
thinking your thoughts,
Or for seeing like you do.
You call me a rebel.
And yet each time I have rejected your beliefs
You have rebelled against mine.
I do not try to mold your mind.
I know you are trying hard enough to be just you.
And I cannot allow you to tell me what to be-
for I am concentrating on being me.
You said that I was transparent
And easily forgotten.
But why then did you try to use my lifetime,
To prove to yourself who you are?”

Powerful stuff, don’t you think? Can you relate?

So when he tried to find out more about Michelle, all that he could find was in the introduction to her book: “I Am Neither A Sacrilege Or A Privilege. I May Not Be Competent or Excellent, But I Am Present.”:

“Michelle! You were with us for such a short time before choosing that fog-swept beach to continue on your way. It was July 1967, and you were only 20. She left us twenty five poems. She found it too hard to be “just me.”
We hope these poems are presented as you wish, Michelle. You are present, we love you, and we need you, and we promise we will remember, until we meet again……. San Francisco, July 1969.”

We all can learn from Michelle & imagine what else she might have been able to share with us over the last 30 years, if she hadn’t lost her way…

For Michelle…….

by Villi Ingi